Friday, March 10, 2006

Soliloquy of a Mad Cat Sitter cont'd

MONDAY: I see that one of the "pets" has barfed on the kitchen floor. Why? I don't know how to best clean it up??? Degoutant. I'll put some Betty Carter records on. Now to feed the cats. First I'll clean out the cat box. Oh my god, one of the cats didn't make it to the box. Are they trying to say something? Jesus, that is gross.How many more days? I better water the plants now. Get unemployment check out of hiding place and bring it to my house in order to mail it special delivery to Bill in California.
TUESDAY: Brought new cat food for the "pets." Nine Lives Tuna with Eggs. That sounds so good I want to eat it.(ten minutes later) Maybe I better, because the cats don't want it. They've been spoiled on the junky Puss and Boots that David and Bill feed them. Well, if that's what they want. . .. Now I'll watch some TV. I'll see what Fonzie is all about. (1/2 hour later) God was that awful!!! Now I'll watch Laverne and Shirley.(10 minutes later) Even worse than Fonzie. I know what I'll do now. I'll go over to Murder, Inc. I'm there now. As I walk in the store I see one funny looking dog. Named "Watson" I later find out---now that's really sick---& four cats. Say hello to proprietress. I ask her if it's true that the store is open 24 hours (Larry told me this at work). She laughs. No, it's not true, she says.
WEDNESDAY: Feed cats the same old shit. Put on Duke Ellington record. Look at Bill's book shelf. Take down his World's Fair scrapbook. I hope he doesn't notice that I've looked at it. I'm impressed at his wit. Off to the ballet. Return from the ballet. Put on MHMH. Go home.
THURSDAY: Arrive & fed the cats. Watch Welcome Back Kotter. Lots of cute boys on the show. Go to Everhard Baths. Get room. Settle in my chambre. Not too crowded. Just right. Person next door is lying on bed fully clothed. Am I sick or is he? Who's to say? The world allows for an infinite variety of behavior at bath houses. At 1:10 a.m. meet someone named "David." Chit chat. Says he is a "televsion consutant." I say that TV needs all the consulting it can get. He's not terribly amused. Lives on Crosby Street in SoHo. Have quick sex. Go home by taxi. It is three.
FRIDAY: Let cats out. When time comes to get them in, all cooperate except Dinah. This has been going on all week. Baby and Frances come when I call them but Dinah is evidently deaf at times. Go out to get Dinah, and Baby and Frances run back out. They're making a monkey out of me. How do David and Bill get them in? I'll have to ask them. Tonight it takes twenty minutes to do it. Oh drat. Dinah just scratched me as I tried to get her in.
SATURDAY: Come over to meet super. He's super. See but not talk to Erma. Receive postcard from B &D. Glad to see that everything is all right! Come back over later. One of the cats has knocked some of David's books off the lower shelf. Why? To read them? I doubt that. Maybe to be malicious is more like it. Bring parents over on way to take them to dinner. Father asks if my friend who has this apartment took his wife to California. Change subject. Go to Tandoor for a delicious dinner. I had raita, nan, malagawtawny soup, Chicken Tikka, Go home & read Miss Mapp. B&D back from Calif. tomorrow. Phew!
back to square one